No More Cake


First TV Sunday of 2008

Filed under: TV — Owen @ 9:08 pm

and boy is it worth writing about haha. Lets start from the beginning…

well the beginning is the early football game on Fox at 1pm. Actually there wasn’t too much to say here except that it was really funny how surprised the coverage team was that the Giants and especially Eli Manning. You think they’d be rooting for the team from the biggest market but whatever…

Next was the second game on CBS. The game itself was kind of sloppy/boring in the first half but got better in the second when the Titans defense got tired and there were actually points being scored. What’s more important to realize is that CBS has to have the absolutely worst coverage team for any sport on television. I know a lot of people hate Joe Buck because he doesn’t add anything or he says exactly what happened, but at least he doesn’t sound drunk when he’s doing it. Phil Simms sounds about a beer and a half away from slurring and just starts spouting out things that come into his mind.

Even worse than that are the “experts” they have behind a desk in the studio.

Shannon Sharpe – Almost too easy. Besides that fact that he’s the brash talking black guy that wears long suits that every team has; besides the fact that he replaced Deion Sanders who he’ll never be able to live up to; besides the fact that he’s a fucking tight end, probably the most overrated position in football since they’re just big-boned wide receivers that can’t run and are generally expendable; besides the fact that he looks like a cross between a horse and Randy Jackson…. Besides all that, he CAN’T FUCKING TALK. He has the worst lisp ever to be given a TV contract and it’s definitely not helped by his southern drawl which only makes it harder to understand his “snappy” comments.

Bill Cowher – OK, he was a great coach and is totally worthy of respect but to say he is a good broadcaster would be a lie. Basically, doesn’t really add any insight to the games or seem to care. I wouldn’t be surprised if because he’s the most important person there he gets his ass kissed all the time and doesn’t put any effort into his analysis. It’s also a little weird seeing this guy who is known for being angry/mean laughing like an asshole.

Boomer Esiason – oh yea, awesome…

Dan Marino – best QB with no ring? No doubt. Best QB of all-time? Probably not anymore. With the rising of Tom Brady and Peyton Manning and the amazing season Brett Favre is having, Dan Marino is kind of on the back burner. On TV it looks like he can tell, a bunch of his major records have been passed and with the higher quality of defenses today its hard to compare him but it doesn’t look good. It sucks, but he just became irrelevant and it’s hard to take him seriously. At least he still has his endorsers.

James Brown – Oh, you’re not Greg Gumble. My bad.

Whats worse is that their production team is just as shitty, they never know what the next clip is, what highlight is being shown, what caption/graphic they should be elaborating about or how much time they have. At least 3 times they cut to or from a commercial prematurely just during half-time. CBS basically needs to get there act together.


New favorite reason to watch 60 minutes …

and finally…


thats gonna have to be a whole new post though…



  1. Who woulda known that this kid would grow up to be the worlds shittiest commentator…. Oh wait, maybe anyone that saw this kid…

    Comment by grimey — 01/07/2008 @ 10:20 pm

  2. […] god they brought this back This is linked from below because the last post was getting long and if anyone actually does read this one page per post then […]

    Pingback by Thank god they brought this back « Lifestyles of the Broke and Famous — 01/09/2008 @ 4:25 pm

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