No More Cake


The Bay

Filed under: culture, Food, life, travel — Tags: — Owen @ 2:56 pm

Man, I’m a lazy blogger. I don’t do shit in Boston right now and still don’t find the time to make this site any better. Here goes…

Flew into San Jose (boy, were my arms tired), brushed my teeth and it was off to In- N- motherfuckin – Out as a pregame to the bar. As soon as I we got close, I could smell how delicious it smelled, like fresh food, not a bed of grilled onions. They manually take your order which was weird and it took for-fuckin-ever to get the food. The burger though was very very good. The meat was juicy and tasted real, not the processed stuff like McDonalds and shit.

The bar was sweet; big with lots of people, TVs with multiple games and eventually an old school thrasher skate film and a mechanical bull that carried exactly ONE hot girl all night. The best thing was the huge test tubes that carried like 200 oz of beer with taps that you can share with your friends.

By the end everyone was drunk and Mark had the only car, so to fit all like 9 guys in the Audi we had to put someone in the trunk. Jack defiantly volunteered, “I don’t give a FUCK!”, or something like that. The sickest thing was that he jumped in the back, curled onto his back and didn’t even blink as Mark shut the door. He lasted a good 7 minutes before he starts banging, “Get me the fuck out of here dude!”. As soon as we let him out, he starts spewing like a fire hydrant in Brooklyn during a heat wave. It was classic.

The next day we went to this girls house for a BBQ. It ended up being sports camp with beer. Beer pong was incredibly difficult for some reason and we convinced David that backflips were easy. That however was hilariously not the case. If you’ve never seen someone do a perfect backflop, tell them all you have to do is lean back and tuck your knees. The food was delicious and plentiful and everyone was really chill. Good day.

Me and Mark then drove up to San Francisco for the night. His apartment was really sick. Paul was there with his girlfriend who was swimming from Alcatraz in the morning as only a 1/3 of a triathlon, which is extremely badass. Nevertheless, we couldn’t stay around for long. So it was off to the BAR none.

It was kind of a dive with SF yuppie meatheads but it did have 4 beer pong tables in the back. So after a shot, a beer or so, we bought a pitcher and didn’t pay for another drink the rest of the night. Some close games, a few moppings and it took a team of 30-something regulars to take us down. I was pretty happy that even though it was like 2 or something, it wasn’t that close to last call. So after pissing in a construction site, we walked up the street to the Bus Stop. Housed a beer, got housed in Pool and ran into a kid from BU and had a short awkward conversation.

Finally, Mark called a friend of his and we ended up at some district that I was told was a block away from where I don’t want to be after dark. Mind you, it is about 3 in the morning and it’s been dark for a while. So we’re ushered down an alley, through a side door, up a narrow staircase and through a curtain into a huge room with couches, a bed, a bar and a dj booth playing music that perpetuated the atmosphere of sex, money and drugs.

As people started packing the place, the dance floor got packed and I saw more and more people doing variations of the tektonic dance. Pretty funny stuff. Chilled for a while, passed out on the cab back. Good night.

Sunday, me and Mark basically bombed through the entire city in one day. The Haight St. Fair was full of the crazy hippies as expected. Did a parking swap with some dudes, which was so California. PNC was holding a country concert. Apparently, some of the hottest girls ever are big country fans; who knew? La Corneta in the Mission was better than Anna’s. Golden Gate was definitely worth 10 minutes, walking that shit would have been retarded. The wharf had Hooters, a spy store and the BushMan. Later, we got food at Flores’ restaurant Gordon Biersch. Really good garlic fries, really crazy waiter. Also, saw Lombar (why would anyone ever make a street like that?). And of course we hit THSF on Post and the HUF stores. A really efficient and tiring day. We eventually rode back to Menlo after the Lakers near comeback in Game 2, chilled and passed out to prepare for the drive down the 5 to HB.

Since this is so long, I’ll add the drive to the next post. If you actually read this whole thing, I appreciate it; you get a gold star.

HB next.



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