No More Cake

03/31/2009

Cereal Killa

So I woke up this morinin and as I start yawnin
Dat milk milk pourin into ma bowl then I though
To myself (thought thought 2 myself) that I need to
Take a trip to the grociery store cause the bread is low

The Cool Kids – What’s Up Man

The only reason that song is up there is because this post is about my morning cereal. I don’t think it’s obvious to anyone but my mom but 99.999% of the time I eat cereal it’s has been Frosted Flakes. THEYRE GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT! Apple Jacks are probably a step below and Apple Cinnamon Cheerios are enjoyable as well and a few others are acceptable but nothing compares to the sweet taste and sugar rush of corn flakes bathed in sugar.

Plus, there is the added gamesmanship involved in pouring the perfect amount of milk. Too little and the top of your bowl tastes like you’ve been caught in sugarstorm whipping across a deserted cornfield. Too much and the bottom of your bowl is full of gym socks formerly known as Frosted Flakes. It takes a week to learn, a lifetime to master.

This all changed this morning, when I woke up and didn’t want to make an egg sandwich but needed something in my stomach to calm the quiet rumblings. I opened the drawer and saw a box that had been sitting there for months. img_0072

Honey Bunches of Oats?

Their commercials were so gay that I couldn’t imagine them being any good. I’m thinking :

Fuck Bunches.

Fuck Oats.

Honey’s chill.

Fuck Almonds.

Shit, I’m hungry.

So a scoop out a handful and toss it in my mouth. Tasted kind of bland, weak, boring. Throw in a bit more and my teeth bust up a honey bunch. BOOM flavor! I guess I was wrong about products sold by people in hairnets. Needless to say, my next step was  to add milk and chow down. img_0074

It still isn’t exceptional like Frosted Flakes. It lacks the milk racing experience. But I will say that it is a notch above Apple Cinnamon Cheerios but below Apple Jacks (I don’t give a shit if they don’t taste like Apples).

I’m just glad to add some variety to my breakfast Fave Five, which at least 3 of them are cereals. I take this shit ceriously [wink] You can find me in the morning in your kitchen like this :

Num Num Num Num Num Num Num NumNum Num Num.

Cake

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